Exercisesoul

Dear Current Angel

Lauren Michelle711 views

Dear Current Angel,

I love you very much. I’ve been waiting to write this for awhile, but at the same time waiting for me to be okay while writing this. I’m not sure if that moment will ever come. I hope you knew how very much you meant to me know how very much you mean to me. You’ve already become the graceful angel I knew you’d become at the time of writing this. Even as every year passes, I will never forget how very much you loved me or how much you love in heaven as you did on Earth.

  I know you’re in a better place, but I wish I could see your face; dreams don’t hold steady. I feel your radiant smile, but it stings the most when the sun is shining. I could never forget about your enriching laugh and smooth tone. The echoes scream; I wonder if they can hear it too. Life never seems to be consistent and when the world starts moving backwards and your hand is not here to hold, I pray that you give me grace. If you could hear me and we could talk over a cup of tea here’s what I would say to you:

  You’ve never looked better. The big guy upstairs must be treating you right. I would do anything to relive a moment like this. Even if it was when times were hard; when I had to help you in bed as you were wearing thin or even when you forgot who I was. Give me your hand; I’ve missed your warmth. I’m probably falling apart saying this, but when people say I remind them of you, I know I am doing something right. I wish I could see you the day I walk down the aisle, but I’ll make sure to tell him and the kids that you never left. Thinking back on the past, I realize that time has flown by too fast.  And I know this won’t last forever, but you’re not someone I’ll forget. Never. When I was young with an open heart you kept me grounded, now your love keeps me surrounded. This moment lights up the dark, but I can’t see how you have the patience to watch over a girl like me.

You may be asking me why I’m not drinking any of my tea, and it’s because the moment it’s gone, so are you.

I guess beautiful things never last.

I can’t keep you for long, paradise is waiting. I love you.

43 Comments

  1. This was so tender and sweet, it must have been your grandmother? I was really close with my grandmother too. I love this letter, and made me remember so many great times with my nana. Blessings! xoxo Robin

    1. I’m sorry to hear about your loss a while back, but I hope that you find peace with it, no matter what it takes <3

  2. So sorry to hear about your loss but so beautifully written and your right, it really does have an impact even all this time later. I lost one of my grandma’s about 4 years ago which was hard and a grandad before that but last year I lost my other grandma and a good friend both a few hours apart. One young one old, one died a natural death and the other was murdered. I wrote a letter like you too to help me cope, I hope you find solace in their memories x

    1. Thank you for such kind words. I’m glad you were able to find ways to cope with two passings that were close to you. Sometimes there are unconventional ways of finding peace with the situation and getting closure. I’m sending you all the good vibes you can get, because sometimes it doesn’t get easier, but I hope it does for you.

  3. This post made me miss my Grandma – she’s suffering from Alzheimers, and our family is suffering from the way it’s taking her from us. She’s not gone yet, and we can see her, look at her, touch her. But she’s not herself anymore. Her body is here, the hair she always used to be so proud of, the face that watched me grow, the hands that raised me – but she is gone on the inside, not herself anymore. And though her body still lives, I miss her.

    1. I’m completely here for you Brandi and understand what you are going through, as that is what my Grandmother passed away from. It is one of the hardest lifestyles to witness. I know that the times can get so tough, but even when it becomes frustrating, be patient with her. She has no idea and just remember her for all those good things you listed to me. She sounds like an astounding woman <3 Sending you my condolences.

  4. Losing someone close to you is tough. I wrote about it in a blog post as well. It was one of the toughest things I had ever gone through. I will be praying for you on your journey!

  5. Beautiful note. I should write to some of my loved ones. It would probably bring a great feeling to me to get things off my chest, reflect and not worry about being judged.

  6. This made me cry and think of my grandmother, who I lost when I was very young. This post is amazing and basically says everything that I would say to her. I wish you well and send you all my love!

    1. Thank you for such kind words. I’m so glad that you were able to relate and find meaning in this letter.

  7. It’s never easy to lose someone we hold dearly in our hearts. This letter is such a touching one, it really comes from the heart. I’m sorry for your loss.

  8. We’ve all lost a special angel in our lives. I can relate to how you’re feeling right now. I’m sure she’s really happy where she is but we just can’t help but miss them. I’m sorry for your loss.

  9. I’m so sorry for your loss..I can understand you..I’m sure you can still feel her love. Remember all the good things you lived together, she wants to see you smile. You have to laugh louder so she can hear you from there ❤️

  10. Ahh this aches me! Reminds me of how I lost my sister 10 years ago. She’s my best friend. And it still hurts today like it happened yesterday. I agree with you on “life never seems to be consistent” because life is not always about staying the same.

    1. Cheryl, even though it has been a long time since you lost your sister, sometimes it feels like yesterday and that can be the hardest to deal with. Imagine if life was consistent; then pain from situations like these would never be overcome.

  11. Oh dear, I am very sorry to read this, sorry about your loss. I know its really painful and hard but believe me acceptance and time will heal you broken heart. May she find eternal rest and peace. Just think that she will be now your guardian angel.

  12. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing someone is tough. This is wonderful written letter, it makes me think all too much about how people aren’t in our lives forever and how we need to treasure the moments we have with them.

  13. I am so sorry that you went through a loss like this. I know that it was so rough when I lost a loved one not too long ago.

    1. Thank you for your condolences! Hope you find peace with the situation sooner than later, Robin.

  14. Wow..this post is so touching. So personal but yet so applicable to my own feeling about passing. Thank you for your post!

  15. I’m so sorry for your loss, it sounds like you had a beautiful relationship with your grandmother. Thank-you for sharing this with us, your words are very touching x

  16. What a good post, I really love reading this and so glad that you share this with us and help to motivate me.

  17. That is a great story, sorry for your loss but you are so brave to share this story with us

  18. It breaks my heart to read this post. While it is very sweet and touching, I cant help but feel for you and your pain. I too know everything happens for a reason but how I wish our loved ones can stay longer. You are strong and you will someday look at this day as a stepping stone to being much stronger.

    1. Angela,
      Thank you so much for your kind words! She passed many years ago when I was just becoming a teenager, and it finally feels good to use this loss as a stepping stone to becoming stronger. I am hoping this post help others who have not coped with a loss or just recently lost someone, will find comfort and inspiration in it.

  19. So touchable letter, I read it twice, because I loved too much my Grand mother and she was gone too early and you made me thinking of her throw those sweet words , thank you .

    1. Thank you for the read. I am glad you were able to find comfort in the letter and I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for connecting <3

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